Guide to Surviving Creepypasta's! :D

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times – no, but seriously.
Hello there you lucky ass motherfucker! And welcome to, “Guide to surviving creepypasta’s in real fucking life!”
Ok, now let’s start with the motherfucking basics –
1. Whenever you hear a CRACK, break out the orange juice.
This is a sign that Ticci-Toby wants to fuck you up, he’s lonely! GET HIM A FUCKING JUICE BOX NYOW!!!
2. When in an eerie forest, always look around for Slendy.
If spotted, don’t take out your camera, remember, he’s camera shy! He’ll fuck you and your camera up! Instead, shout, “LET ME LOVE YOU!!!” really loud and tackle him in a massive ass hug!
3. Always check under the bed for Jeff! (one of his favorite hiding spots!)
If spotted, make sure you have some rope to tie him to your motherfucking bed you fucking creeper! But remember, he’s a biter! (you may get stabbed multiple times in the process if you don’t knock him out quick enough)
4. Before eating a cupcake, ask Pinkamena who she put in it first!
You don’t wanna eat one of your friends, instead, make sure your eating someone you absolutely despise!
5. When you hear a knock on your window, don’t be afraid to open it!
It could be Jack trying to remind you to get some fresh air! You should also let him inside, it’s probably fucking cold outside depending on where the fuck you live! While he’s in your company, don’t be rude, make sure to set out some fucking tea, or perhaps give him one of your organs! He’s not picky, but a kidney would be good!
6. Make sure to leave some cookies out for the Rake!
Hey! Think about how boring it would be to stalk someone in their motherfucking sleep! Boring, right? Well, take this into consideration and take some time to feel sorry for the rake! Why don’t you fucking leave your television on, or maybe leave some magazines out ya’ boring fuck!
7. Make sure that when you see a random motherfucking game with a label poorly scribbled on it, get it immediately!
Who knows, BEN might be getting fucking lonely in that motherfucking cartridge of his! So but down whatever productive thing you’re doing, and go play with him!
8. When you hear “He comes” be fucking ready!
Yup, you guessed it, Zalgo’s coming for a visit! He usually appears in motherfucking comics! So, fucking grab your marvel comic books that you keep hidden in the top drawer of your dresser, and fucking start reading! Come on, don’t lie, I know where you motherfucking keep them! I’ll stalk you in your motherfucking sleep!
9. Holly frig! You wake up to find a magical illuminated flower on the counter! The fuck do you do?!
I’ll tell you what you do, except that flower like a fucking champ! Yup, that’s right, You have been selected to be stuffed with flowers and pixie dust and candy! Congratu – fucking – lations you bastard! Splendor man is probably looking at you right now! With his creepy ass motherfuckin’ eyes that scream, “Prepare to be motherfucking raped!” Have fun with that.
10. Crocs with socks? OH HELL NO.
Beware, it’s Slendy’s cousin…or brother…or…something…yeah…TRENDER MAN! If you see him, it doesn’t mean that he’s giving you a thumbs up, it means that he’s motherfucking pissed off! He’s probably looking down at you with SHAME right now! Congratulations! You have fucking terrible sense of fashion!
And that’s all…if there’s any more Creepypasta’s you want me to give survival guide steps on separately, even if they were already mentioned, then fucking comment bellow, thank you! ^^